Am i like a girl?

O~ that's so kind that you leave me some comments and show me some care~ i am feeling well and smoothly. thanks again! Some days ago, when my friends and i had a dinner, they kid me that i am just like a girl... Today... i thought this problem serciously... found that... i am too sensitive... i'll feel terrible after somebody say bad words to me... also, good responses will save my life. it's strange that i don't think a boy should be this... a kind of moonstuck...feebly sentimental.... Ah ha~ now i am ok~ thinking this made me being silly...haha, but i'm still a man~ and making effort to being more man...
if a have a boy in the future.....i'll name him: Truman

feeling bad

thank you... thank you for your care... the commets showed me some light. i'm good now, just worrying about my future... no girls, no jobs, no good status... even can not live on my own... o~ the darkness is coming, i feel so bad... i don't contact with you guys... my old friends... but i still thinking and caring of you.... i don't wanna face to the old days, neither the future... it's so bad... tell the truth... one email can totally destory all my good mood... failing... from the foot hills.
i love that game so much... after i leave it... delete it... and lose all my goods, i found the truth that i miss it... really miss it...
because i am living in empty box... vocation... is empty... when the classes begin... another kind of cheat and betrayed... through the familier friends and classmates...

Crazy days... Missing days

it's 2:50pm...
sleepy...
this is an extra blog i gonna write, i did this not for acomplish my quest, but to show off my feelings somewhere.
They all go in 3 days...maybe 2...
loney gonna come to my life...
who's left? allen, oye, daka...
swimming, wow, and talking about the weather of Calgary
silent night outside, wispers from my hard disk
i am missing home...
and my past life
i don't sleep because of the ORP
but i don't want to blame anything anymore...
Somebody said i am world-wearinessed, somebody said "you don't care anything"
BUt i do love this world and i do care something... which are not games
I Do Not Show my care...
yes, i am thinking about the surroundings everyday, i am wishing your injuries will be healed soon, i gonna help if i am needed, i just walk away if i am useless...
too sham
i hate show off
but i'll remember...
what happened, what should i do, what is because of the God
i am not assertive, neither aggressive
charge, attack with a critical strike
then execute with honor
with desolation in my eyes
Maybe... that's not my life...