the essay is making me crazy!

Oh~ i'm helpless! i hate business! i hate economy! i hate South Africa! and i hate the investment in that place!!! when you black people develop your country, why should i write this essay to analyse it? whatever you want! don't put everything on the internet! just tell me, why the investment good to you? what does it help! shut up the voice like "come on, we have such a huge amount of gold, come to catch it" we know that that's good for us, why do you want us? what do you get? you're increasing your GNP every year, that's good, but why don't you just tell me the reason and put it on the first result in google? if you do that, we'll be best friends, but you give me 194,000,000 results and just tell me that you're such a good place to go in most of them!! i hate you! don't ever think about that i'll encourage any businessman to put many in your place! you're so hypocritical! i know that you're good, you have lot's of meetings about science, you have gold, and many other kinds of mines. you're open, you wish the others invest in your place. BUt why?? what can investment give you? if you don't give me an answer today, i gonna kick your ass!

The end is near

Just finished our group essay and a extensive test, tomorrow i still need to attend to a lecture. then i gonna begin to write a individual essay. ah~ the busy days come, and the end is near~! it's 12:16, i need to go to bed. now i feel a little relax because i've finished all today's work. but i don't want to sleep, although i am a litte sleepy. i wish to do more and more before it's too late, maybe that because i've lost a lot of things. i am a kind of lazy, usually i don't do anything until the best time pass me off. then i will hold it quickly, then get it done without thinking much. that's not good, now i'm trying my best to make the situation better. some friends are really help me a lot, they mention the work to me and tell me to do it quickly.
the last fighting is near, now every mark is important. if i get them, i gonna pass, or i won't.
but i wish~^_^

Feeling tired

i don't know why, i feel so tired. i did nothing at this weekend, except wasting time... Oh no! i am afraid! to stay in my small room, and to feel my empty brain. the fall of my heart is near... who am i? why am i here? i begin to hate my works, and keep losing my energy... that's so bad... i wish to be happy, or something can really touch me to make me feel full. but nothing happened...
somebody said that human beings will never feel satisfied with their situation, that's why they improve and develop their technology and society. i thought that's true, but i don't know which part have i improved... nothing, i just live in a small room of darkness. beauties never come, neither the beasts... that's a corner of the world, nobody care. i am thinking of my dreams, maybe they will never become true. i'm losing them...with the dirt...
i am living here, that's not important. if i die, that's ok. i feel sorry about my thought, because there's somebody want me improve, they wish me good, including my teacher and friends. i am too negative. but i am telling the truth... struggling in the unfair world, i feel so tired.

A new week

from now on, there are only 3 weeks left in this semester, but we have tens of homework and tests left. i feel so boring that everyday is like the same: go to school, back to dorm, do homework, and prepare the test... i feel so empty in my head, in my mind, and in my brain. i have nothing to do except studying... maybe i need to go to swim, or play balls, but there's no time, also no acompany. everyone is like falling into the deep of doing nothing. bad weather without sunshine... i feel so bad...
i gonna go eating outside with some friends. they are all chinese. i don't have many canadian friends, maybe that because we don't have the same eating or thinking style^_^. whatever, having a relax and eat some hotpot at the restaurant will help me feel better. ah~ boring days, when can i get rid of you? maybe when the vocation comes, the spring comes, and sun light come back and shinning on the ground.
sometimes i remember my childhood, when i played on the ground of my elementary school, i thought that how deep could i see through the sky. when the sun went up, and my body became warmer and warmer, i felt a little cozy.

Back to the life

Girls, is a kind of demon... You won't know when they will care you, but everytime, you got a sweet heart. then, sometime later, the sweety will begin to melt and you gonna wish more sweet...
i don't think that idea fit everybody. but at least that's what happened on my body. i do not have strong communication skills, so that i always trust others easily and be controled by somebody. my heart, my head, and my brain are always shocked by many different thoughts. who really cares me? i do not know, but everyone looks fine and i love to be with them. The truth is that sometimes somebody do something which do not like their appearance. i cannot judge if that's ok with the personality. So how? i am confused...
maybe i just wrote some strange ideas with poor grammar and vocabulary... still, my brain is totally dismissed... i cannot even think of something logically. but i wish to write something on my blog~ i like this kind of feeling... which takes a little headache~ but i don't care~
ok~ok~ i need to stop, ah? or all my posts will lose their value because of this one! ha ha ~

it's cool....i copyed form the internet

Do not count this post in my blogs~ i paste lyrics from a website just because i love this song! do not even try to read this!
hey Jude, don''t make it bad.
嘿 Jude 不要这样消沉
Take a sad song and make it better.
唱首伤感的歌曲会使你振作一些
Remember to let her into your heart,
记住要永远爱她
Then you can start to make it better.
开始新的生活
Hey Jude, don''''t be afraid.
嘿 Jude 不要担心
You were made to go out and get her.
去追她，留下她
The minute you let her under your skin,
拥抱她的时候
Then you begin to make it better.
将开始新的生活

And anytime you feel the pain,
无论何时，当你感到痛苦的时候
hey Jude, refrain,
嘿 Jude 放松一下自己
Don''t carry the world upon your shoulders.
不要去担负太多自己能力以外的事
For well you know that it''''s a fool who plays it cool
要知道扮酷 是很愚蠢的
By making his world a little colder.
生活中总是会有不如意的时候

Hey Jude, don''t let me down.
Hey Jude 不要让我伤心
You have found her, now go and get her.
如果你找到你所爱的人，去爱她吧
Remember to let her into your heart,
记住要永远爱她
Then you can start to make it better.
生活会更美好

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin,
嘿 Jude 时光如此飞逝 不要耽搁
You''re waiting for someone to perform with.
不要总是期望依赖旁人
And don''t you know that it''s just you, hey Jude, you''ll do,
你知道吗！你自己可以的，嘿Jude，去完成吧
The movement you need is on your shoulder.
明白 自己要走自己的路

Hey Jude, don''t make it bad.
嘿 Jude 不要这样消沉
Take a sad song and make it better.
唱首伤感的歌曲会使你振作一些
Remember to let her under your skin,
记住要永远爱她
Then you''ll begin to make it
然后开始新的生活

Better better better better better better, Oh.
会更美好 会更幸福
Na na na, na na na na, na na na

Good or bad?

After serval days bad mood, i feel better now. thanks for the care of my teacher, friends, and parents, that really helps me very much. now i have a small progress on my marks. i think i'll be ok with the next mounth. i am doing my outside reading project. that's a boring project i think...hehe~ maybe i need a intresting project question, maybe like "what idea have you got from this book?"~ whatever, i need to do that~~ that's part of my job~
Now i realized that this world is not that evil, there are something needs me to care~ death is not emergency that needs to be achieved. i do need more fun of this world. After i graduate from this university and got enough money, i wish to travel to Japan and Paris, or some provinces in China at least. the world is cruel, we made it. the world is not cruel, we made it. both sun and moon are shinning together, but not at the same part of our world... We know that the the world is inequality, but we can do nothing about that, we cannot change! then why don't we just play our cards we own? that's what i have to say(native people~ha!)

Holy light shinning on the death

AH~! the great outdoors! i miss you so much!!
Living in the hell, i felt everything are killing me. The inequities are filling in the world, in this unfair world.... i hate that so much! i anger! but i cannot change that... instead of changing myself.....
the light is not shinning, the wind is not blowing...the world is losing their beauties, the living people are dying! Long time ago, when the holy light still controlled by a honest person, everything was well growing... but now, i've no idea why such a fuckable person holding that... so everybody become to the death, and suffering by the shinning...
Are we really changing?
falling or improving?...
Or maybe that's just an abyss, jump will works... or it is a canyon, we will see the real thing after across it.
Or maybe... it is just a purgatory... we will be angels...
But we are so weakness now!!! we cannot fight with the demon...or i mean the person who holding the crosier.....
Is he really worth that?
demons will believe...
BUt I, still, finding my corpse....

listening to the music

My friend just sent me several songs, the singer is CASCADA. I don't know her before, but these songs are really nice. it make me energetic~ now the song is "wouldn't it be good" it's talks about love....wait... i think all these songs are singing about love~ I searched some pictures about this singer~ she is not very beautiful, for me it's ok.......~ whatever~~ i'm enjoying the songs~ who care about the singer~haha~
i was in a very bad mood this week, because i received a bad mark in Intensive~ or i can say i got a worse mark than the mark i should get. that's really terrible which means now i have a big chance to fail Leap 3. if i couldn't pass, may be i gonna think about leave, because i don't have enough time or money to stay and take another half year to study English. that's really uncomfortable for me so i have to work harder and harder, although i've spent all day study in english without any entertainment.
keep doing? i'm struggled...
why do i live in this f**king world?!